The Butcher's Boy

A fine young guy by the name of Mike
Used to peddle a butchers bike
If you needed a tasty treat
Mike turned up with a basket of meat
And if you fancied a bacon roll
Or a bowl of toad in the hole
Mike delivered around the clock
So it all came as quite a shock
When he said he'd had enough
And he was thinking of doing other stuff
Standing there with hands on hips
He handed in his trouser clips
"I'm moving on to pastures new
And going to work for Deliveroo"

The butcher's wife couldn't believe her ears
And burst out into floods of tears
"What would it take to make you stay?"
"Any price I'd gladly pay?"
The butcher was surprised at this
And said "Bridget are you taking the piss?"

At first he didn’t believe her

Then he picked up a great big cleaver

And turned to the young lad

He was looking awfy mad

“What’s been going on?” He said

“If it’s what I think, then you’re dead”

He lifted up his arm

As if to do some harm

“Take your hands off him”

She said, flying off her top

She kicked him in his shin

Then smacked him with a chop

“On the bike” she said to Mike and she sat in the basket

The pair then sped away while the butcher blew his gasket.