STEVE EVANS poetically speaking
NURSERYCRIMES NURSERYCRIMES NURSERYCRIMES NURSERYCRIMES
Jack & Jill
Jack and Jill
Crept up the stairs
At their auntie Claire's
Jill came down
In a floral dressing gown
And a pair of purple flairs
Jack stayed up
In the shower
For more than half an hour
He came down
Smirking like a clown
The tower of flower power.
Little Jack Horner
Little Jack Horner
Was back in the corner
Nursing a swollen eye
His thumb was sore too
As it turned black and blue
While the baker baked a new pie.
A Broken Fairytale
She came out of a broken fairy-tale
Her eyes were deep her skin was pale
The mirror tremored on the wall
As Humpty Dumpty began to fall
And little children scattered breadcrumbs on the trail.
The Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly
I knew an old lady who went to the zoo
She came back smelling of elephant poo
Noses would wiggle wherever she led
And a flock of flies circled her head
At her wits end and feeling undone
Small wonder then she swallowed one.
Bill & Ben
Bill and Ben were out one day
The gardener was on holiday
Bill called out that flowers name
Pretty as a picture out she came
"Blobble obble dobble Weed"
Said Bill as amorous as he could plead
"What on earth did he just say?"
She exclaimed as she backed away
"I've no idea" said brother Ben
The randy twat's pissed again.
Baa Baa Black Sheep
Baa baa black sheep
Is it really fair
For anyone to judge you
By the colour of your hair
Judged by the master
Judged by the dame
Judged by the brandy boys
Down by the lane
Baa baa black sheep
Is it really fair
To come upon this world
Inside the dragons lair
Fed to the rich
Fed to the poor
Fed to the cats and dogs
Until your black no more
Baa baa black sheep have you any choice
No sir, no sir not without a voice.
