STEVE EVANS poetically speaking
Kith & Kin & Kith & Kin & Kith & Kin & Kith & Kin & Kith & Kin
Katie Krisp
Katie Krisp
Had a lisp
And what was worse she stuttered
No one had a c-clue what she s-said
Or anything she u-uttered
But everything got f-fixed when a spider bit her bum
She never said another word cos the f-fright struck her dumb.
(f-f-fangs spider :)
Katie Krisp (too) In 10w
Katie Crisp
Sweet will-o'-the-wisp
Blazing bright tonight
Our Valerie
Our Valerie
Spent her salary
Going to the gym
Working out
Till there's no doubt
Her arse was really slim
There goes Valerie
Not a spare calorie
All the boys would say
Look at that bum
As tight as a drum
And that would really make her day.
Billy Blank
Billy Blank hardly drank
And he didn't shout or swear
The apple of his mothers eye
You could take him anywhere.
Auntie Elsie
My Auntie Elsie
Went to Chelsea
To see the flower show
But she pricked her nose
On a fragrant rose
She thought she’d like to grow.
Auntie Vivienne
The end of the world was near
Time for a last cool beer
Facing oblivion
With my Auntie Vivienne
So glad Uncle Ernie's not here.
Jean's Limerick
There goes Jean off on the tram
With a packet of crisps and a babycham
She's Edinburgh's greatest shopper
And buys up every special offer
Harvey Nicks and Jenners stores
Welcome her through their doors
With a cup of tea and a warm jam scone
Everyday's a marathon
But it's lucky she has a bottomless purse
Because she's spent all the money in the universe.
Mark
A scaredy little guy called Mark
Had always been frightened of the dark
When he heard a floorboard creak
He went to shout but he couldn't speak
So he barked at the dark instead, poor Mark.
Oor Heather
Oor Heather was under the weather
And feeling awfy queer
"We'll have to take your temperature"
Said the doctor with a leer
"Take it easy hen."
He whispered in her ear
"I'm here to help, ye ken"
But she got the smell of beer
"Undo your blouse and take a breath"
He said warming up his hands
"I need to check you over.”
“That there's no swelling in your glands"
Suddenly feeling better she gathered up her things
It's amazing the efficacy an examination brings
The 22/2/55 - On that day I came alive - Pancake Tuesday. (10w)
