STEVE EVANS poetically speaking
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The Migrant
Migrating from the heat
Trying to find their feet
Escaping from a war
Sacrificing more
Victory in defeat
Big Tam
A spaceman farted in his suit
He couldnae get the flavour oot
"Ground control tae Big Tam
You're messin' up oor readings man"
But Tam was floatin' roond in space
Wi' a distant look upon his face.
Postman Mike
There was a postman by the name of Mike
Who did his round on an old red bike
He never had a black and white cat
Or the adventures of Postman Pat
But he liked his job, which he thought was neat
And as he said - better than walking the street.
Trish
A curvy little girl called Trish
Was voted as the daily dish
She loved to strut her stuff
Ambling about in the buff
In fact it was her dearest wish.
Robin Hood
Robin Hood done no good
Stealing from the wealthy
Because the poor
Who he took it for
Had bats inside their belfry
It's A Lottery
I went and bought my lottery ticket
I asked the girl in the shop to pick it
If it makes me rich
Maybe we'll get hitched
But she told me where to stick it.
Norra Lotty
There was a young man who was spotty
And his nose was constantly snotty
Though he dreamt of fit girls
All perfumed and curls
His chance of a date norra lotty
A Little Angel
There was a little angel learning how to fly
Who tripped upon a cloud one day and fell out of the sky
"Ow that's sharp!" (She said)
Landing on her harp
"Get back up here" boomed out a voice "and have another try."
My Friend Jim
My friend Jim was out for a swim
When a beautiful mermaid swam in to him
At first he thought she was a fish
As out of the water her tail did swish
But when she held him in her arms
He became aware of her other charms
Then as his cheeks were turning red
She led him down to her sea bed
And with that mermaid's wiles and wishes
He made his home amongst the fishes
Curves
Do my curves get on your nerves
The new receptionist said
Cos when I'm walking by I see you shake your head
I'm not disapproving said her boss with some surprise
If my head is shaking I didn't realise
I'm sorry said the girl I didn't mean to moan
But sometimes when I'm passing I think I've heard you groan
He coughed and spluttered
And then he stuttered, slowly turning red
But what he uttered no one knew as out the door he fled
The girl was mystified not knowing what she'd done
And walked back to her reception desk wiggling her bum.
Kirsty O'Connor
I'm sorry your honour
Said Kirsty O'Conner
For breaking the law that day
I'd been through the mill
With a brute named Phill
So I had to just blow him away
